It had been a while since I had been put in my place.  Generally, it can happen in two ways: either someone tells you about it, or you realize it through your actions.  Yesterday, it was the later, and it occurred during a soccer referee training session where were running a modified version of the FIFA International Referee Fitness Test (link).  The test consists of intervals of sprinting and a fast walk, repeated over 4km.  Since I had drastically improved my fitness over last two months, I expected to do reasonably well on the test.  However, by the time we were halfway through, I was already lagging behind the preset intervals.

In the opposite scenario, I also spent part of today putting someone else in their place, by informing him that what he did wasn’t appropriate.  The person in subject was younger than me and had been someone who I have worked with closely over the past four months.  During that time, I had only showered him with praise and have never given him any substantial negative feedback or criticism.

So what do these two examples have to do with anything?  Well, I believe that too often we focus on praise and positive thoughts.  However, when you are dealing with someone who is A) Motivated B) Determined to succeed and C) Won’t take it personally, then “putting someone in their place” isn’t such a bad thing after all.  In fact, it can be more empowering than a whole heap of positive reinforcement.

Doing badly on the fitness test showed me that while I have come a long way, I need to keep my head down and work even harder to get to where I want to be in my refereeing.  It was definitely a valuable wake-up call. For the young person who I had to speak with, I know that he is determined to succeed in his endeavors, and I’m confident that he will come out of this experience with a powerful lesson learned and a desire to impress the people that he works with even more.

That’s why I ask the people that I spend time with not to sugar-coat their advice or suggestions.  Please put me in my place.  I promise you that I will come out it much stronger.